When it comes to things like this, I'm anal. I like to sit down and take the time to write out a good entry with pictures and info, and lately I just don't seem to have the allotment. There's always something else to do in the summer!!!
Speaking of summer.. IT'S SUMMER!!!! This summer has been such an amazing one for weather. Everyday is hot (albeit humid....) and gorgeous. This year I even ventured into the uncharted territory of vegetable growing- which seems to be going okay, kinda. I don't think my thumbs are super green.. Not only is the weather amazing, but Mitch and I had the amazing opportunity to go on our first ever couples vacation to England to visit my family. Needless to say we had an amazing time!
As far as the weight loss goes? It's pretty good!! I updated all of my weights on the left, so you'll see how I'm doing. May 16th was a big day for me, as I crept under the 200lb mark and hit 199.4! Celebrate! Once I hit that, I had my focus on 188 which would be my official "100lbs lost" goal, which I reached on June 30th. WOOH! Two big goals in a month and a bit. Ballin'!
Now that I'm sitting pretty at 184, I have my sights on my first goal which is 165. I picked 165 because originally when I typed my height and weight into a BMI calculator, 165 was within "Normal" range for someone who is 5'9".. Well it turns out I'm not actually 5'9.. I'm more like JUST ABOUT 5'8 (I swear you lose foot fat!) so for someone who is 5'8", 160 is within "normal".. But fuck it, I'm going to keep 165 for now, and then go from there once I get there. So only 19lbs to go until the goal, which in the grand scheme of things sounds like peanuts! I can't wait to bottom out my weight, so that I can start looking forward to getting down and dirty with plastics!! These boobs and tummy need a serious overhaul...
Along with the healthy eating, I've been busting my ass at the gym 4 days a week with a personal trainer. I was apprehensive to go back, but I KNEW I'd have to do it to get the results I want.. So far I'm building little muscles, and you can actually see them this time! Unlike last time when all the muscles hid underneath 290lbs. I'm enjoying it more then I ever have, mainly because I'm not as exhausted as I once felt. When you're THAT BIG, and doing that kind of intensive work out, it really isn't fun at all. Most of the times I left feeling defeated or beat down, and the majority of the time I didn't want to go back!! I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. This time I feel like it's working. Like all the hard work is finally paying off. Thank fuck for that.
As for food, I'm still able to eat everything. I find I'm eating less in the summer because I really just don't feel like it. When you're sweaty, and tired feeling, food is just the last thing I think of.
Although- I found this new product called "Daryl's All Natural HI-N-R-G Bars"
I'm always on the look out for protein bars that taste amazing, and aren't full of crap.. These are all natural, and one bar has 22g protein. I also bought their protein granola cereal which has 21g protein! Booya. Amazing. If I've learned anything about GBS, it's that you have to keep your eyes peeled for products all the time, and buy in bulk when you find things you love!
Am I happy that I had surgery? Yes!
Do I feel better about myself? Absolutey.. More then I ever thought I could.
People ask these kinds of questions to GB patients all of the time, but I don't think I truly knew the answers until now. Even now I have trouble grasping the idea that all of this is happening, but as the days go by and I get more and more used to my smaller body, I really do find a lot of things to be thankful for.
My biggest thing? I don't feel self-conscious anymore. Any bigger person knows the feeling of walking through a shopping mall or restaurant- feeling like the biggest person there, and wishing you had worn a different outfit that doesn't make you look fat..
It's a huge sigh of relief to NEVER have to think about that again.
Okay, so maybe I think about it a little when I'm trying on bathingsuits... but hey, I'm 95% there :)
