Alright, so the last post was a bit of a downer..
I visited the nutritionist on the 9th of December, and told her about the troubles I was having with eating and vomiting. She pretty much called me crazy when she found out I'd been living off of cheese and crackers. She said that if it continued, to call the surgeons office about having a scope due to a possible stricture. I had suspected a stricture for quite some time, but didn't know if it was bad enough to really be considered. I thought I was just "rushing" things.. Pffffft.
I called the surgeons office the next morning (Thursday), and got an appointment for a scope the next day. Holy fast much?
So I started fasting as of midnight, and had to be at the Humber River Regional Hospital Church site at 1:30 the next day.
So we show up, check in, and almost immediately all the fire alarms start going off. Fucking wonderful. I ain't leaving now. We sit pretty for a while reading mags and chatting, and eventually I get called through to the day surgery room. There's people in robes and in beds everywhere- I felt slightly awkward just standing there looking at them all. I get ushered away to put a gown overtop of my clothes (WOOH! No embarassing open back..) and walk right into the procedure room.
I hop up on the table, and they start searching for veins for an IV. I oh-so-cockily announce "I have good veins, I never have problems with IV's!".. Famous last words, I tell you. Next time I'll shut up. They try me once in each hand, and finally settle on the inside of my elbow before it actually works. Not fun.
Next I bit down on a plastic spacer type thing, and in went the propophol. The doctor tells me that if you think about something great, you'll have a great dream, so I started chanting "Christmas, christmas, christmas" in my head before passing out.. I wake up with a nurse saying "Damn I forgot to get you a drool pad", not glamourous.
Basically I woke up feeling drunk, and had no pain at all in my esophogus or stomach..
Dr.Huynh came over and let me know I had "quite a tight stricture" at the base of my stomach, meaning I could get the food in but it couldn't go down, thus the vomiting. He also said I had "visual evidence" of heartburn, and provided a kicker of a heartburn med.
Two days after the dilatation I was eating things I daren't eat at all before. Fruit, ham, shrimp, chicken. You have no idea how much your life can improve when you stop throwing up and can actually eat again. Wooh! I feel like a whole new girl, and hopefully this is the start of a decent life after WLS. For a while there I thought I had made a ridiculous decision.
My weight isn't much different then last time, but I'm okay with that
Weight today- 246.3
Monday, December 14, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
1 Month, 5 Days
Part of me doesn't write because I am frustrated, the other part because I am overwhelmed and also lazy.
The last month has got to be one of the toughest food-wise.
After the two weeks of liquid diet, I went on to two weeks of pureed. I will say I definitely cheated, as I didn't puree EVERYTHING! But all in all, the pureed diet went pretty well. Lots of yogourt, lots of soup, lots of eggs and cheese.
So, being the gutsy lady I am I decided to try and dabble in a bit of solids.. I tried out different meats in different ways; chicken was cooked in liquid for hours in the oven until tender, beef was cooked with potatoes until tender, fish was cooked until just done to ensure it wasn't dry or chewy, ham was cut thin, shrimp were barely cooked.. And after all that effort, I'm not sure if I've been able to keep ANY of those down.
Because the connection to from your "pouch" to your intenstine is only the size of a dime, meats have to be finely ground up (by your teeth) to make sure they even pass through that hole.. I'm fairly certain I've chewed and chewed and chewed until I've probably developed TMJ, but none of these meats go down at all. Now if I put some fish on a cracker, ta daa! I can swallow it!!
Saltine crackers are my drug of choice. Most things I put ontop of a saltine cracker tend to end up going down, but there's only so many things you can put ontop of there!
And to be truthful, after a while you get pretty sick of experimenting, and then vomiting away all of your hard work. So for the moment, I've pretty much given up until I see my dietitian. I live off of crackers, cheese, eggs, protein shakes, milk, more cheese... oh, peanut butter, sugar-free jam (both of which just go ontop of crackers), and sometimes bananas..
I am disinterested in food, and completely disinterested in eating.. Which at the moment is bad, because this soon after surgery you are never hungry- meaning if you aren't interested in food, you don't eat, and I can go a very long time without eating!!
Yesterday I ate:
5 saltines with peanut butter at breakfast- 9am
One bite of pickle (which got stuck), and a few spoons of soup -vom'd up because the pickle got stuck- 3pm
one shrimp from a shrimp ring- vom'd -6pm
5 crackers and cheese- 8 pm
This is why I haven't written much. I have nothing nice to say. I have an appointment with the dietitian tomorrow, and hopefully she kicks my ass and tells me to work harder to eat.
Todays weight- 247
The last month has got to be one of the toughest food-wise.
After the two weeks of liquid diet, I went on to two weeks of pureed. I will say I definitely cheated, as I didn't puree EVERYTHING! But all in all, the pureed diet went pretty well. Lots of yogourt, lots of soup, lots of eggs and cheese.
So, being the gutsy lady I am I decided to try and dabble in a bit of solids.. I tried out different meats in different ways; chicken was cooked in liquid for hours in the oven until tender, beef was cooked with potatoes until tender, fish was cooked until just done to ensure it wasn't dry or chewy, ham was cut thin, shrimp were barely cooked.. And after all that effort, I'm not sure if I've been able to keep ANY of those down.
Because the connection to from your "pouch" to your intenstine is only the size of a dime, meats have to be finely ground up (by your teeth) to make sure they even pass through that hole.. I'm fairly certain I've chewed and chewed and chewed until I've probably developed TMJ, but none of these meats go down at all. Now if I put some fish on a cracker, ta daa! I can swallow it!!
Saltine crackers are my drug of choice. Most things I put ontop of a saltine cracker tend to end up going down, but there's only so many things you can put ontop of there!
And to be truthful, after a while you get pretty sick of experimenting, and then vomiting away all of your hard work. So for the moment, I've pretty much given up until I see my dietitian. I live off of crackers, cheese, eggs, protein shakes, milk, more cheese... oh, peanut butter, sugar-free jam (both of which just go ontop of crackers), and sometimes bananas..
I am disinterested in food, and completely disinterested in eating.. Which at the moment is bad, because this soon after surgery you are never hungry- meaning if you aren't interested in food, you don't eat, and I can go a very long time without eating!!
Yesterday I ate:
5 saltines with peanut butter at breakfast- 9am
One bite of pickle (which got stuck), and a few spoons of soup -vom'd up because the pickle got stuck- 3pm
one shrimp from a shrimp ring- vom'd -6pm
5 crackers and cheese- 8 pm
This is why I haven't written much. I have nothing nice to say. I have an appointment with the dietitian tomorrow, and hopefully she kicks my ass and tells me to work harder to eat.
Todays weight- 247
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Two Weeks Post-op
So! The big scary day is over with, and it's been exactly 14 days since surgery. Where the hell do I start?!?!
So we woke up surgery day (Nov 3) at about 4:45am to shower, pack the car, and start the drive. I wasn't feeling too nervous, but I think that my denial soothing me. My brother and Mitch were driving me to the hospital, and I felt it pretty inappropriate to lose it and break down in front of them both. I held it together, but barely.. All in all surgery day didn't work out too badly. We had a laugh and a joke about the ridiculous gowns, and one particular nurse who was the most frustrating person we'd ever met. She hassled us, lectured me, and couldn't even tell me what meds were in the little paper cup that I was handed. All in all the stupidest nurse I've met.
I got driven down a few floors in my flashy wheelchair, and surgery was halted because I hadn't been given a mandatory pregnancy test. G-sus. Ridic. We all stood around waiting for the results. Considering I have never done a preggo test before, and even though I knew I wasn't pregnant, it was kind of nerve wracking anyways. The Nurse came in with the "Congratulations! You're not pregnant!", we all had a few cheers, and off I went into the operating room after a few kisses and hugs. I got my IV, and without even as much as a heads-up about the meds, I felt pretty woozy and said to my nurses "I guess this is it, see ya soon." That's about it.
Now the post-op part begins.
No one explains to you before surgery, that they use some sort of dye in your stomach to test for leaks, that will eventually make you dry-heave yourself into oblivion and make you think that something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. No, they neglect to tell you that. My first memory of the surgery being over, was reaching around with my eyes closed for something to wretch into. I never want to experience that particular moment ever again.
The other thing I didn't expect was the phenomenal amount of pain I had in the middle of my chest. Now I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but fuck me, I thought I was having some kind of heart attack or something. The nurse happily informed me I was maxed out with 4 units of morphine, and that she'd give me something for heartburn. Eff-off missy. This is not heartburn. If this is heartburn then I think I may actually be on fire.
The drive up to my room was pretty hilarious. I remember not being at all awake, but having to hold a door open for the nurse because she kept crashing me into every single object in the hallway.. They should have to take a course on that, because obviously it's a struggle. I got to my room and ta-da, was given more morphine (thank heavens), and struggled to keep my eyes open while my family sat around me. I felt kinda horrible that everyone had driven so far, and all I could do was mumble incoherently every-so-often. Ah well.
Eating didn't go particularly well on Day 1, as there was a lot of discomfort, and after a few spoonfulls of jello, I decided to abandon ship for the day.
I don't want to say "those were the only bad things," because it sort-of sounds like a lot, but it's true. I wouldn't want to relive any of those feelings, but it was only for a dayandabit, and everyday that followed things got better.
Let me say, the best thing I did in the hospital was order the tv package. I read something another GB patient said about "don't bother bringing books, you won't be interested".. I thought it was bullshit because I love to read, and had brought three books in case I got bored of one, but I had literally no interest in sitting up and using my hands to entertain myself. For the first two days it was pretty nice to hang out in the motorized bed with Mitch and catch up on all the tv that we miss, but by day 3 I was DYING to get out of there. My back was sore from the stupid bed, my pain meds had been cut off so I wasn't sleeping very well, my IV was sore and I was sick of pushing around the stupid thing anytime I had to pee, dress, or walk anywhere.. My prayers were answered when Dr. Neil made a quick call to Dr. Huyhn to see if I could be discharged, and woohoo, I could- but on one condition. I had to stay in Alliston for 2-3 days after surgery just incase anything would go wrong.. They believed Orono was too far to drive to the hospital if I was having any kind of complication. Fack.. Everything I needed for recovery was in Orono at my mums.. We had no food, no clothes unpacked, nothing.. So we spent the minimal 2 days in Alliston and rolled on home to Orono for some down-time and relaxation.
And I guess here we still are! Week one consisted of a "full fluid" diet, where I could only have things that are dairy based and strained of all chunky bits, and today is the start of my pureed diet, where I can eat foods from all food groups and blend it all up. Thank god.
So, it has been an eventful two weeks, but a pretty good two weeks all in all. I sleep a lot and watch a lot of movies, and too much exercise makes me super tired, which is to be expected. When they say "do nothing for 3 weeks minimum", it's kind of hard to do that!! I've been cheating with that probably too much, but oh well. Such is life.
So, onto the weights I guess!
Nov 3/09', surgery day- 272.2
Nov 9/09'- 263.4 (first logged weight after surgery)
Nov 13/09- 261.2
Nov 17/09- 259.3
So we woke up surgery day (Nov 3) at about 4:45am to shower, pack the car, and start the drive. I wasn't feeling too nervous, but I think that my denial soothing me. My brother and Mitch were driving me to the hospital, and I felt it pretty inappropriate to lose it and break down in front of them both. I held it together, but barely.. All in all surgery day didn't work out too badly. We had a laugh and a joke about the ridiculous gowns, and one particular nurse who was the most frustrating person we'd ever met. She hassled us, lectured me, and couldn't even tell me what meds were in the little paper cup that I was handed. All in all the stupidest nurse I've met.
I got driven down a few floors in my flashy wheelchair, and surgery was halted because I hadn't been given a mandatory pregnancy test. G-sus. Ridic. We all stood around waiting for the results. Considering I have never done a preggo test before, and even though I knew I wasn't pregnant, it was kind of nerve wracking anyways. The Nurse came in with the "Congratulations! You're not pregnant!", we all had a few cheers, and off I went into the operating room after a few kisses and hugs. I got my IV, and without even as much as a heads-up about the meds, I felt pretty woozy and said to my nurses "I guess this is it, see ya soon." That's about it.
Now the post-op part begins.
No one explains to you before surgery, that they use some sort of dye in your stomach to test for leaks, that will eventually make you dry-heave yourself into oblivion and make you think that something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. No, they neglect to tell you that. My first memory of the surgery being over, was reaching around with my eyes closed for something to wretch into. I never want to experience that particular moment ever again.
The other thing I didn't expect was the phenomenal amount of pain I had in the middle of my chest. Now I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but fuck me, I thought I was having some kind of heart attack or something. The nurse happily informed me I was maxed out with 4 units of morphine, and that she'd give me something for heartburn. Eff-off missy. This is not heartburn. If this is heartburn then I think I may actually be on fire.
The drive up to my room was pretty hilarious. I remember not being at all awake, but having to hold a door open for the nurse because she kept crashing me into every single object in the hallway.. They should have to take a course on that, because obviously it's a struggle. I got to my room and ta-da, was given more morphine (thank heavens), and struggled to keep my eyes open while my family sat around me. I felt kinda horrible that everyone had driven so far, and all I could do was mumble incoherently every-so-often. Ah well.
Eating didn't go particularly well on Day 1, as there was a lot of discomfort, and after a few spoonfulls of jello, I decided to abandon ship for the day.
I don't want to say "those were the only bad things," because it sort-of sounds like a lot, but it's true. I wouldn't want to relive any of those feelings, but it was only for a dayandabit, and everyday that followed things got better.
Let me say, the best thing I did in the hospital was order the tv package. I read something another GB patient said about "don't bother bringing books, you won't be interested".. I thought it was bullshit because I love to read, and had brought three books in case I got bored of one, but I had literally no interest in sitting up and using my hands to entertain myself. For the first two days it was pretty nice to hang out in the motorized bed with Mitch and catch up on all the tv that we miss, but by day 3 I was DYING to get out of there. My back was sore from the stupid bed, my pain meds had been cut off so I wasn't sleeping very well, my IV was sore and I was sick of pushing around the stupid thing anytime I had to pee, dress, or walk anywhere.. My prayers were answered when Dr. Neil made a quick call to Dr. Huyhn to see if I could be discharged, and woohoo, I could- but on one condition. I had to stay in Alliston for 2-3 days after surgery just incase anything would go wrong.. They believed Orono was too far to drive to the hospital if I was having any kind of complication. Fack.. Everything I needed for recovery was in Orono at my mums.. We had no food, no clothes unpacked, nothing.. So we spent the minimal 2 days in Alliston and rolled on home to Orono for some down-time and relaxation.
And I guess here we still are! Week one consisted of a "full fluid" diet, where I could only have things that are dairy based and strained of all chunky bits, and today is the start of my pureed diet, where I can eat foods from all food groups and blend it all up. Thank god.
So, it has been an eventful two weeks, but a pretty good two weeks all in all. I sleep a lot and watch a lot of movies, and too much exercise makes me super tired, which is to be expected. When they say "do nothing for 3 weeks minimum", it's kind of hard to do that!! I've been cheating with that probably too much, but oh well. Such is life.
So, onto the weights I guess!
Nov 3/09', surgery day- 272.2
Nov 9/09'- 263.4 (first logged weight after surgery)
Nov 13/09- 261.2
Nov 17/09- 259.3
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Eve
So.. Tomorrow, eh? Holy shit this has crept up fast.
I guess tomorrow will be the start of a new life, pretty much. New rules, new outlook, new me. That's kinda a lot to take in.. Oh well. I'm trying to be optimistic and happy about this, but the worrying portion of my mind takes over sometimes..
I know that everything will go fine, and tomorrow I will be happy and dandy. I just have to get through tonight, and then tomorrow morning (which I anticipate as the worst part!!! too much waiting...)
We're about to take a "before" picture, as photo 1 in the journey.
Fingers crossed.
Weight Nov. 2- 272.0
I guess tomorrow will be the start of a new life, pretty much. New rules, new outlook, new me. That's kinda a lot to take in.. Oh well. I'm trying to be optimistic and happy about this, but the worrying portion of my mind takes over sometimes..
I know that everything will go fine, and tomorrow I will be happy and dandy. I just have to get through tonight, and then tomorrow morning (which I anticipate as the worst part!!! too much waiting...)
We're about to take a "before" picture, as photo 1 in the journey.
Fingers crossed.
Weight Nov. 2- 272.0
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
T Minus 7
In exactly one week I will have finally had my surgery.. All of the appointments, the worrying, and the constant researching will all be over in exactly one week. But I really can’t say that, because that’s when the hard part is going to begin. I’m actually less and less scared about the surgery, and getting more and more used to the idea of a total body transformation. I hate running into people I know, so hopefully in a year’s time I won’t be recognizable in public! Okay, so I shouldn’t even be thinking about that right now. I hope that come surgery day I will feel at least a small sense of relief that this big bad surgery is all done and over with. It’ll be nice to wipe the slate clean and plod along into a new life.
On the other hand....
Seven more days of these awful fucking shakes…. Although I’m getting used to them, I will be glad to see the end of them.. Bring on the hospital jello!!!!
Today’s weight- 276.0
On the other hand....
Seven more days of these awful fucking shakes…. Although I’m getting used to them, I will be glad to see the end of them.. Bring on the hospital jello!!!!
Today’s weight- 276.0
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Sting Like a Bee
I hope everyone likes my half Rocky inspired title! It fits, I think.
So, a blog you ask? Yes, a blog.
Over the past 18 months I've been preparing for a surgery I never thought would happen. A surgery I believed was like some sort of unattainable thing!! When I first talked to my Doctor about Weight Loss Surgery, it was kind of like talking about buying a Porsche.. Other people had them, but there was no chance I would ever qualify.
Talking about Gastric Bypass Surgery was weird. I had heard about it, I had even read about it a bit, but the thought of actually having it was so, so, so, foreign.. After talking to the Doc about it, it took a full 14 months to get an initial appointment at the Humber River Regional York Finch General hospital site. I had over a year to think about the surgery and have panicky thoughts about when my phone would ring with an appointment. I never thought so much could happen in that year!!!
In June of 2009 I met the man of my dreams , and within four months Mitch and I moved 165kms NW from home in small town Ontario, to another small town in even colder Ontario. Talk about a change.
One random day at my new job as a Personal Support Worker for Community Living, I get this surprise email from some woman I've never heard of.. As I scroll through it, it gives me times, dates, and locations for the dour, quickly arriving appointments. Uh-oh.. Time to panic. This brought a whole new real-ness to my future.
After meeting with a dietitian, and a social worker for a psych evaluation, it looks like I am a "perfect candidate" for WLS; I had a pre-existing medical condition, I had tried various weight loss methods (one even being medications when I was 17 which failed to do anything other then make me look like a speed junkie!!!), I had dieted frequently, and for a very steep price, followed a years worth of toughasnails training at the gym with my peppy little trainer. But for no lack of trying, I couldn't shift the weight.
The next step for me was a Gastric Bypass class, and then meetings with the surgeon, and eventually a pre-operative appointment at the hospital.
That pretty much takes us to now! Surgery is booked for November 3rd, at 9am.
In an effort to lose "excess liver fat" before surgery, the surgeons provide you (for the low low price of $200 cash!) with two weeks worth of opti-fast, a shake type drink that comes in powder form, which limits calorie intake but also provides you with every single vitamin and nutrient needed for day to day life.. The best diet tool ever! And the most fucking DISGUSTING thing I've ever put in my mouth.. Holy J. The vanilla flavour tastes like some sort of gone-off soya beverage that has small chunkies in it and that lovely chalky consistency you get from powdered beverages. Kill. Me. Now. But you know what, After 6 days on this shiz, you kind of get used to it. Although I do drink the vanilla one with my nose plugged. You do what you gotta.
Here comes the numbers. Everyone who has WLS seems to be super easy going about weight numbers, so I'm just going to throw it out there and deal with it
First appointment with dietitian = 287lbs
October 21= 283.5
October 24= 278.0
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Peace out!
So, a blog you ask? Yes, a blog.
Over the past 18 months I've been preparing for a surgery I never thought would happen. A surgery I believed was like some sort of unattainable thing!! When I first talked to my Doctor about Weight Loss Surgery, it was kind of like talking about buying a Porsche.. Other people had them, but there was no chance I would ever qualify.
Talking about Gastric Bypass Surgery was weird. I had heard about it, I had even read about it a bit, but the thought of actually having it was so, so, so, foreign.. After talking to the Doc about it, it took a full 14 months to get an initial appointment at the Humber River Regional York Finch General hospital site. I had over a year to think about the surgery and have panicky thoughts about when my phone would ring with an appointment. I never thought so much could happen in that year!!!
In June of 2009 I met the man of my dreams , and within four months Mitch and I moved 165kms NW from home in small town Ontario, to another small town in even colder Ontario. Talk about a change.
One random day at my new job as a Personal Support Worker for Community Living, I get this surprise email from some woman I've never heard of.. As I scroll through it, it gives me times, dates, and locations for the dour, quickly arriving appointments. Uh-oh.. Time to panic. This brought a whole new real-ness to my future.
After meeting with a dietitian, and a social worker for a psych evaluation, it looks like I am a "perfect candidate" for WLS; I had a pre-existing medical condition, I had tried various weight loss methods (one even being medications when I was 17 which failed to do anything other then make me look like a speed junkie!!!), I had dieted frequently, and for a very steep price, followed a years worth of toughasnails training at the gym with my peppy little trainer. But for no lack of trying, I couldn't shift the weight.
The next step for me was a Gastric Bypass class, and then meetings with the surgeon, and eventually a pre-operative appointment at the hospital.
That pretty much takes us to now! Surgery is booked for November 3rd, at 9am.
In an effort to lose "excess liver fat" before surgery, the surgeons provide you (for the low low price of $200 cash!) with two weeks worth of opti-fast, a shake type drink that comes in powder form, which limits calorie intake but also provides you with every single vitamin and nutrient needed for day to day life.. The best diet tool ever! And the most fucking DISGUSTING thing I've ever put in my mouth.. Holy J. The vanilla flavour tastes like some sort of gone-off soya beverage that has small chunkies in it and that lovely chalky consistency you get from powdered beverages. Kill. Me. Now. But you know what, After 6 days on this shiz, you kind of get used to it. Although I do drink the vanilla one with my nose plugged. You do what you gotta.
Here comes the numbers. Everyone who has WLS seems to be super easy going about weight numbers, so I'm just going to throw it out there and deal with it
First appointment with dietitian = 287lbs
October 21= 283.5
October 24= 278.0
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Peace out!
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